Things to Know if You Have a Boy

We all get funny e-mails. Here is one that I received today, plus I added a few of my own tidbits.

1. Boys must experience everything by touching it, hitting it, throwing it, smacking it or punching it.
2. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
3. A 2 year old can open a child safety lock quicker and easier than the adult who put it on.
4. There is no such thing as a child safety lock with a 2 year old boy who thinks there is candy behind the door.
5. Quiet is not good with boys. If they are quiet, they are up to something. Usually bad.
6. Chuck E. Cheese is not a safe place for some 2 year old boys who like to climb.
7. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.


8. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
9. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
10. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
11. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
12. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
13. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
14. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
15. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
16. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
17. Super glue is forever.
18. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
19. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
20. VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
21. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
22. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
23. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
24. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
25. The fire department in this area has a 4 minute response time.
26. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
27. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
28. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
29. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
30. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.