The Angst of Bed-time

1) Where did we go wrong?

2) What did we do wrong?

3) When did it get this out of control?

This is what we ask ourselves most nights at bed-time. There was once a time in our short parenting careers that we did not have an issue with this particular part of the evening. We took it for granted that the kids went to sleep without a 1-2 hour battle. We took it for granted that they went to sleep without threats or bribes. Woe be the night that we do not have to bribe or threaten one, two or all 3 kids. That would be a cause for celebration, for sure.

Right now I am listening to Natalie sob with all her heart about the unfairness of sleeping in the guest room. Why? Because Cooper cannot NOT talk to her, she cannot NOT talk back to him, and all this talking leads to him convincing her it is OK to: a) jump on her bed, b) turn the light on, or c) hang on the bunk bed, or d) find some other mischief to get her in trouble or e) all of the above. Hence she does what he suggests and gets in all sorts of trouble and he lies back and relishes in the fact that he is NOT in trouble for once.


The techniques that we have tried:

1) Staggered bedtimes. Problem? No one goes to sleep the moment that they are put into bed. (Wouldn't that be nice!) They all seem to wind down whether you put them to bed at the same time or 15 minutes apart. Sometimes the wind down period is 10 minutes, sometimes it is 2 hours. You never know what kind of struggle it will be.



2) Quiet time 30 minutes before bed, reading 3 books, singing songs, telling a nice long story and saying prayers. You would think after all this quiet down time they would start to unwind and be ready to lie their sleepy heads down for a long night's rest, right? No such luck. It does not matter if you read 3 books or 6 books or the whole library collection in their room. They just store up all that energy while they are siting still and unleash it as soon as the lights go out!


3) Bribes and Threats. Neither really work. They only remember the treat that was offered in the form of a bribe. They wake up the next morning, can I have my piece of gum? I went to sleep. Yes, you sure did, after I told you to the 58th time!!! They only remember that they did exactly what we asked, they slept. They do not remember the small war they waged before they finally dozed off. Threats really do not work well either, because after you remove whatever object that you threatened to remove, they cry so loud that you end up bribing them to be quiet by giving it back. Does not seem so effective except making them upset (which ruins the evening for everyone).

I am sure. No, I am positive that this WILL get better. There will come an evening that we will figure it all out and the kids will miraculously go to sleep without fuss. I just know it. They may be teenagers by then and I may have a complete head of gray hair, but I am POSITIVE that it will happen. I just know it.